A checklist of deficits is not okay, our children are more than this, they are not a list ‘can nots’.
Anyone who works with our children must understand that trust has to be earned and our children will mask because in these situations.
Our children have learnt to do this.
Building a fun relationship will be the best way to gather information and see what works best for our children.
But this will take time and creative thinking and while services are a list of printed out questions of tick boxes in a one hour visit, they will not get a comprehensive picture of an individual.
But then are these services really for our children or actually to feed back our children are ‘fine’ and don’t meet thresholds?
(So I apologise for allowing them into our home, for that appointment we had waited months for and actually thought we might get some knowledge out of and I keep remember to give these ‘professionals’ a wide berth)
Courses were designed to share knowledge and empower parents and families?
We changed from a model of diagnosis with an emphasis on the child to change?
We ended the narrative of parental guilt?
Diagnosis should be there to inform systems of how to make adaptations. To educate the educators and professionals, rather than to use as reason to blame or excuse.
If we used our knowledge to work collaboratively to empower families and work together to inform the professionals we could create flexible and adaptable learning environments that work to what our children need.
Hey, we might not even need EHCPs, because all children would be included within an education system that works for all..?
Our children are as complex and nuanced as any human being but post diagnosis I felt the stereotypes close in.(we are products of our own environments and cultures)
But we all get sent on the same parenting courses with the other parents whose children have a diagnosis and our children get to go to Lego Club.
I guess when the end goal is to fit one system, a formal education then it is simpler to pigeon hole and use those ‘supports’ but what happens when they don’t work?
I think I would have preferred a course on ‘When the shit hits the fan’ because I think until we create a flexible and individualised learning environments for our children then a lot of us will be needing help to navigate the next bit- the “now what?”
I went to meetings, I hoovered, nodded my head, I listened to ‘professionals’, I hoovered, I talked about my child to people I had never met before and would never see again, I hoovered, I sat with other parents in the park and listened to their weekend plans, I made sure I had the right food stuffs, I went to coffee mornings, I hoovered.
I didn’t want to blamed and I didn’t want to be judged.
Other children went to school, other children could be helped.She contradicted sometimes, surprised us all, so it can’t be that bad. Why doesn’t she want help?