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An illustrated blog about a mother navigating the education system with a child who can’t go to school.

My Story

This is an illustrated blog about my journey as a mother navigating the education system for our child, about a diagnosis of autism, to an EHCP, looking at special schools, meetings, phone calls, emails and lots of paperwork. It’s about a child having to fit in and get on until they can’t do it anymore. One way doesn’t mean it’s the right way. The system nearly broke us but we survived it, partly through drawing, partly through ranting and with lots and lots of love and perseverance.

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.
Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine
in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,
a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways
I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least
fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative
estimate, though I keep this from my children.
For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.
For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,
sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world
is at least half terrible, and for every kind
stranger, there is one who would break you,
though I keep this from my children. I am trying
to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real shithole, chirps on
about good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.

Maggie Smith, Good Bones

Well Again..

29 months ago I saw you fall And I dropped everything. I gave it everything I could because I knew I needed to do this. You were ill. Oh my, you were so ill. It was time for nourishment, not arguments.. It was time for us. We stopped with the douchebags. We hunkered down. WeContinue reading “Well Again..”

What About?

‘But what about GCSEs?’ Even if you achieve them, they are not guarantees to life of happiness, wellness or success. ‘But don’t you want to give them the best chance?’ Of course, every parent wants this but they use this crafty phrasebook to catch us in the net of guilt and send us back. ‘CareerContinue reading “What About?”

Special..

Special. Different. Other. Imagine if our children were reminded of what they can do more than what they can’t? Instead of learning how to hide who they are (until they break) Instead of fix to fit we had options and flexibility. What if we made adaptions that worked for everyone? Strength based learning, emotional consistency,Continue reading “Special..”

New or Same?

You may be going into this year with gusto and confidence, a fresh start ready to deal with everything head on (even packed a notebook and have a folder this time) You may be entering it with rage or frustration that you’ve let this mess drag on for as long as it has. You mayContinue reading “New or Same?”

For Who?

Sometimes supports can be used to help that child learn/attend. But what if what they are trying access is not appropriate? All we are doing is ticking the attendance box Who are they for? Instead we need to look at the environment and will it work for them? Sometimes support can be (the harsh reality)Continue reading “For Who?”

Expectation..

Have you seen the place? It’s like a beautiful stately home. (That’ll please the grandparents) It even does horse riding. It looks like it’s meant to look. It ticks the boxes. And ‘they’ all want the answers. A quick fix. A solution. But I don’t think that swanky building is for us. Because it’s anContinue reading “Expectation..”

Learning..

Some things I treasure..(like those pre school days when we cooked, read and played) Some things I put in the bin..(shouting to get to school on time, those sinking feelings when I let comparison creep in) But all of these things are learning. We don’t enter this world full of answers- most of the timeContinue reading “Learning..”

Connections?

Answers take time. Answers don’t come from direct questions. I’m sorry it is not quick or easy, but life isn’t like that. Life and connections are made over time and with a genuine interest. You can’t force this to get what you need. This isn’t about you anyway. You are meant to be here forContinue reading “Connections?”

Scraps..

We’ve waited months, years? I’ve left messages on a phone that’s never answered. Direct questions. Generic questions. Frankly, pointless questions. You do this and I let you. (this is the double empathy problem playing out in all its glory) You even ask me things I don’t want to my child to hear. I mean, weContinue reading “Scraps..”

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