Guilt is not good because guilt doesn’t go away.
Guilt has made me tidier than I ever was and more polite than I ever was.
Guilt has made me more worried.
That the guilt does other things it brings in blame.
Why are they like that?
And that says they shouldn’t be who they are.
Are you saying they should be fixed?
Any trauma you feel you need to share?
How was your birth?
(I have actually been asked this by a man I’ve never met before)
So I walk on eggshells, trying to better and trying to stop life throwing up any variables, because then there’s a reason.
A reason so you will even less inclined to help because; well then it’s my fault.
“mums extremely anxious”
But you don’t look at other mums who lead free, chaotic and fun lives and see that their children are fine.
And you don’t look at your institution and your ways and think ‘maybe this isn’t okay for everyone’
Maybe it can do more harm than good.
No, you look at women and mothers and remember some white man from years ago blaming cold (refrigerator) mothers and you go with this.
Because if you blame ‘mum’ then you can send her on some parenting classes and you’ve done your bit.
I mean, you start changing it for one kid and they’ll all be wanting special treatment.
Well ‘mum’ says: they were actually fine before they started coming here.